Alone
by Epotter95
Summary: Lily has always been good at hiding her big secret, but when James comes into her life as a friend instead of an enemy, she will find that it's harder to keep her secrets to herself.
1. Prologue

A sneak peek for my new story. It is a different from my other stories but I've been wanting to write one like this.  
I only own the story line, everything else to the fabulous J.K Rowling!

Enjoy!

**Prologue**

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Lily walked down the streets toward her house with reluctance. She didn't want to go into the house that her family had broken up, where she gets beaten and other nameless things, she didn't want to go back to where earlier that day she left while her father yelled death threats. Lily was ready for the beating she would receive; she was ready for whatever waited for her inside that house. If you could call it a house, it was more like hell.

She stopped before her house, her jail. She couldn't leave it she knew that. Her mother hated her for what she was; her sister hated her, her father… that was different. He hated her but he had lost her mother when Lily got her letter to Hogwarts. So he had kept Lily because she was the spitting image of her mother, and he would have his way with her knowing she wouldn't and couldn't do anything about it.

Slowly Lily walked up the steps and opened the door. She saw her father walking -or rather stumbling- out of the bathroom. Lily knew he was drunk; he always was ever since that dreadful day. Yet, it was the best day of her life.

"You whore; where the fuck did you go?" Her father slurred advancing on her.

"I went out for a little walk daddy," She tried not to shiver, she _hated_ calling him daddy, he was everything but. Though she had to, it was a rule if you will.

"Bitch, you cannot leave here without my permission!" He was now in front of her and slapped her across the face.

Lily didn't cry out in pain, barely even flinched. She was used to this, but what she wasn't ready for was that her father had punched her hard in the stomach.

She fell toward the ground yelping in pain. Lily was always so sure whenever her father was going to hit her, but when caught off guard she would get hurt more without getting ready for the blow.

"Get up you stupid slut! Get up!" He yelled kicking her in her stomach repeatedly.

Lily tried getting up once her father stopped kicking; she succeeded but stumbled a little but quickly caught herself.

"Get away from me you whore! I don't want to see your ugly face!" He yelled once again hitting her hard across the face.

Lily walked up the stairs wanting tomorrow to come with so much anticipation. It was September first; she could leave and go to Hogwarts and escape but will have to make excuse after excuse about the bruises and cuts she had.

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I will try my hardest to update quick, but with school and stuff it may be difficult.  
Please review!

EPotter95


	2. Chapter 1

This took me awhile and I apologize! I will try and post at least one new chapter every week.  
I only own the story line, everything else to the fabulous J.K Rowling!

Enjoy!

**Chapter 1**

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Lily woke up bright and early like she did every morning so she could start her morning routine. Get up, look over her cuts and bruises and heal them if possible, sneak to the kitchen for breakfast, brush her teeth quickly and quietly, and go back to bed. Every morning was the same, but this morning was a bit different. She was leaving for Hogwarts in less than an hour; she had called for the cab to pick her up at 8:00. She knew she would have about 3 hours to kill but it would be hell of a lot better than being at her so called home.

Lily walked out with her bag and owl behind her as the numbers changed from 7:59 to 8:00. But before she could get to the door her father came out of his room with a hangover.

"Wha are you doin sluuut?" He asked with a slur.

"Going to Hogwarts, it's September 1st." _Not like you would know that._ Lily thought. And before he could say anything she left and got into the cab she had called for to go to the train station.

The ride to the station was quiet, with the cab driver kept looking in the review mirror to look at her in the back she kept her eyes on the passing landscape. It was short ride, about 15 minutes, and soon enough she was there.

She stepped out of the cab looking around to see people going about their lives, completely oblivious to the witch walking to the doors; she didn't think this day would ever come. Lily grabbed a cart once inside the station and made her way to platform 9 ¾.

Lily walked slowly through to platform and went straight to the train. No one was ever there so early, so finding an empty compartment was easy enough. Especially since it was the same one from when she was a first year. Once her stuff was put away she sat and looked out the window and started to daydream.

LJLJLJLJLJ

LILY'S POV

I looked up to see my two best friends walk through the compartment doors two hours later. I saw Melina come in first, she is 5'5 has black hair with some red (it changes every once in a while) that hangs pin straight to her shoulders, her eyes are a dark brown and she has an eye brow piercing. Then Jenn comes in, she is 5'3 has blonde wavy hair that goes to her shoulder blades, and her eyes are a very dark blue.

"Lily!" Jenn yelled and hugged me. She hugged me to tight but I didn't say anything about it hurting. Not even my friends knew about my home life…But here at Hogwarts I forget all about my home and have a good time, almost like a new life.

"It's nice to see you too Jenn." I laughed, thing is I didn't see her at all over the summer. I didn't see either of them actually, during the summer I make sure to never risk my secret to be revealed. I never go out, unless it's a short walk which is a rare occasion, and I never let my friends come over, ever. I only sent letters to my friends throughout summer break.

"Hey Melina" and hugged her too.

"So tell me Lily, are you Head Girl?!" Melina asked sitting down in front of me beside Jenn.

"As a matter of fact, I am." I said smiling.

"That's great Lil!" Melina and Jenn said to me smiling. So far they are the only ones to have congratulated me, when I opened it and screamed in delight my father barged into my room and when he saw the badge he mocked me.

"Thank you, now I have to go the Head's compartment and see who the Head Boy is." I said getting up, giving them a thumbs' up as I left.

I started to try and guess who would have made Head Boy this year, the only boy who I could think of to be Head Boy would be Remus. He is the only option, no one has tried as much as him to get good grades and be a good student. Even though he is part of the Marauders with James, Sirius and Peter, he has to be the best male student in Hogwarts.

I walked into the Head's compartment and froze in complete shock.

He stood there smiling at me and said "Surprised to see me Evans?"

I quickly snapped out of it and said, "Potter, why on earth are you here?"

"Why Evans, I thought you would know. I'm Head Boy." And he showed me the badge that was pinned on his robes.

"Now why would Dumbledore make _you _Head Boy?" I said with as much venom in my voice I could bring forward but personally it wasn't't much for how tired I was.

"Evans, Lily, he isn't as dumb as everyone thinks he is. Now stop pretending to hate me when you know you love me." He said with a wink.

"Potter you make another move on me, I swear to Merlin, I will make sure you will never get _it_ up again." I said, making it clear that I was not joking. He just looked at me and sat down, not bothering to make a comeback. I sat on the chair next to him and waited for the prefects.

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Also, my chapters will be getting longer over time!  
Please review! It's nice to know when my story is liked :)

EPotter95


	3. Chapter 2

I apologize for taking so long to update! My internet keeps going out and I've got a lot of school work. I will try harder to update faster :)  
I only own the story line, everything else to the fabulous J.K Rowling!

Enjoy,

**Chapter 2**

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After the prefect meeting I went to get my things so I could find my friends and a carriage. But seeing as how not a lot of luck was with me, Potter and I had to share a ride to Hogwarts.

But to my utter surprise he didn't say anything or look at me. He just sat there staring in front of him, and sometimes out the window.

Once we got to Hogwarts he got out of the carriage first and turned around to offer me his hand and said "I've been thinking Lily, since we are both Heads and we will have to spend a lot of time together, and we are going to share a common room. The least we can do is act civil towards each other. And maybe use each other's first names?" He seemed less confident about that last part.

I stood there looking at him then down at his hand then back up to him. He does have a good point; it would also set a pretty good example to everyone in the castle that even though there are huge differences, we can get along, just like everyone else.

I looked him in the eye, reached for his hand and said "Alright James, I couldn't have said it better myself."

When I reached to shake James' hand my sleeve on my robe lifted up and showed a bruise I had from a week ago. I tried to hide my arm but James, being the chaser for Quidditch and having amazing reflexes, grabbed my arm. Surprisingly enough his touch didn't hurt, his touch was soft. I wanted, needed, to get away.

"Lily, what happened to your wrist?" James asked rubbing my arm with his thumb.

If only he knew… I thought. But no, no one can know. I will never trust another man ever again. "I uh, fell the other day." Knowing full well that just last week my father gripped me so hard he almost broke my wrist.

"Are you sure?" He looked so sad, so… caring. No, Lily you can't trust him I told myself. He will just end up hurting you.

"I'm sure." I said as I got out of the carriage and walked fast toward the castle hoping I could get away from him.

But no, James ran up to walk with me, but to my gratitude he kept silent the whole way to the Great Hall. When we walked in we realized we interrupted the sorting and we quickly took seats beside each other at the end of the table closest to the door. Usually people would think I am embarrassed whenever everyone's eyes are on me when really it terrifies me. I'm sure my face is bright red and, of course, I'm shaking.

"You okay?" James asked putting his hand on my shoulder.

I flinched away from him not ready for the touch, the once again soft gentle touch. I took a deep breath "Yeah, fine," I turned to see James and saw he was frozen, his hand in mid-air. I looked at his face, it was unreadable. But his eyes, I could see his emotions going through him by his eyes, this is what you get from fighting with the guy for 6 years, you learn things. Confusion and hurt, probably for thinking he did something wrong.

"James?" I asked slowly putting my hand on his arm and lowered it. He quickly shook his head and looked at me. And I mean really looked at me. His eyes looked so intense as they looked me over.

"James…?" I asked again starting to get really confused and uncomfortable.

"Yes?" He was still looking at me weird.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"Hm? Oh, nothing," He said but still looked at me as if searching for a clue.

I turned away from him, away from his stare.

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Hope you all liked it, please review :)

EPotter95


	4. Chapter 3

I am super duper sorry that it took so long after I promised to update quick. I feel horrible, but I've been having a really rough couple of weeks, which pretty much end with me being single and decided to distract myself with writing this story. Anyway, it is longer so I didn't break every promise! I will try to update quicker as it's the holidays and I'm a big lump of sadness and it just kinda works with the story. Anyways, here you go!  
I only own the story line, everything else to the fabulous J.K Rowling!

Enjoy!

**Chapter 3**

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After the welcoming feast I went up to my old room with Melina and Jenn for old time's sake because I'd be living in the Head's Common room for the rest of the year.

"Hey Lil, what were you and Jamsie doing?" Melina asked in an innocent voice, sitting down on her bed.

"I got stuck with him on the way to the castle," I told them, sitting on my old bed.

"How'd that happen?" Jenn was flipping through a quidditch magazine.

"Well, he's Head Boy."

"What! How did _that_ happen?" Jenn dropped her magazine and sat herself on the edge of her bed.

"Trust me, I have no idea." I said playing with a string that had broken off the comforter.

"What is Dumbledore thinking?" Mel asked shaking her head.

"Again, I have no idea. But get this, James-" Melina cut me off.

"It's James now?" She raised her eyebrows.

"If you let me finish," I laughed "James asked me to be friends, more or less. He made the argument saying that we are both Heads, we live in the same place, and we will be spending a lot of time together this year, and to be at each other's throats all year would to ridiculous."

"Wow, he said that?" Jenn looked at me with disbelief.

"Yeah, maybe Dumbledore knows what he's doing." I said with a shrug.

"Lily, did I just hear you say that James Potter should be Head Boy?" Melina looked me like I'd gone mad.

"Yes you did. Mel it's weird, from the bit of time I've spent with him I can tell he's matured."

"You spent what, a few hours with him? How can you tell? Don't get me wrong, but you can't just tell when a guy who's been a complete jerk for years suddenly changed in a matter of hours." Jenn asked.

"I don't know. Just the way he talked; he didn't make any snarky comments, during the Prefect meeting on the train he actually took people seriously. He didn't make fun of people, he actually did a good job directing and listening to people." I could keep going, but Mel and Jenn were looking at me funny.

"Sounds like Lily is falling for James," Mel threw a pillow at me.

"No, I'm just pointing out that he's changed." I threw the pillow back at her, hitting her smack in the face. "Now I have to meet up with James to make a password for the Heads Common room." I got up ignoring the both of them when they whistled and winked.

Once out of Gryffindor tower, I turned left and made my way to my new common room. It was in an old part of the castle, only the Head's went down that way or if a first year end up getting lost during a walk or getting to a class.

I turned down another old hallway when I heard someone behind me, I felt my heartbeat quicken at the thought that someone had followed me to do Merlin knows what.

"Lily? Lily! Wait up," With a sigh of relief –relief? - I realized it to be James' voice and heard his quickened footsteps.

I stopped; there was no reason not to.

"Hey James," I said with a smile.

He beamed down at me, "Lil, I can call you Lil, right?" His smile became quizzical.

"I don't see why not." No one calls me Lil other than my close friends, but some part of me feels James will soon be a part of that small circle.

"Cool! So have you ever been to the Head's Common room before? You know, with you being friends with Alice and everything."

"Yeah I went there a few times but never went in and looked around or anything."Alice was very strict, no one was allowed in the Head's room other than the Head's.

"Why?" James must not know those rules.

"Only the Head's are allowed, the administration doesn't want anything going on in there that shouldn't be. It's more private than most areas in the school so we can get our work done." Only Dumbledore will know our password, and he barely ever leaves his office.

"I never knew that." James said looking down at me.

"Alice was talking to me about it last year, said when she had tried to sneak Frank in Henry would freak out and threaten to tell." Henry Jenson was in Hufflepuff and had followed the rules to the dot, and had the perfect grades and being Head Boy was his dream while he was in school.

James laughed at that, making me giggle, I don't usually giggle. But his laugh sounded nice and contagious, which made me want to laugh too.

I stepped on something slippery and did a very girly squeal. James, always quick, caught me around the waist keeping me from falling on my butt. I latched my arms around him from the panic of falling.

Quickly realizing my situation, me clinging onto James, and James holding me around the waist close to him; I let go of his arm and moved my way out of his arms. The way I saw him looking at me gave me a weird feeling in the pit of my stomach.

"Thanks," I said briskly, moving forward to get to the damn common room.

"Lil, wait up!" James called from behind me and quickly took a place at my side once again.

We walked in silence the rest of the few minutes it took us to get to our new common room. Once we got to the portrait of the man wearing a black suit and top hat with a woman in a gown all puffy from the waist down were dancing, and when we stopped at their picture they stopped and asked us for the password we chose.

"What should we make it?" James asked me.

"How about Concretum Angelus?" I asked in return. The Latin wording of a song that brings tears to my eyes every single time I listen to it, Concrete Angel. And it also reaches close to home to me and my life.

"Sounds good to me, Concretum Angelus," James said to the portrait which swings open. We climb through and I couldn't help the gasp that escaped my lips as I saw our common room.

The entire common room was decorated with our house colours, which made me wonder what it would look like with the heads coming from different houses. There was a fire place to the right of the wall, which was surrounded with chairs and couches and a table in the middle of it all, just like in Gryffindor tower. The carpet is a red, which looks like its part of the wall as it's the same shade of red. The windows were covered with gold drapes, there were stairs which I was positive would lead to our bedrooms and bathrooms.

I quickly ran up the steps, hearing James quietly chuckle to himself behind me as he made is way up, and in my room which was on the left and was marked "Head Girl" on the outside of my door. I dashed in and gasp again; my room looked like it was made more me. It wasn't made to resemble my house, but me. The walls were painted a pale blue, the carpet a nice white. There was a dresser and a desk that was made of wood, and my bed. Oh Merlin, my bed. The frame was white and the headboard was designed like vines, and my bedding was a greyish colour with plush pillows.

I wanted to run and jump on my bed, but I wanted to see my bathroom. Just the thought of not having to share my bathroom anymore got me excited. To accidental walk ins where bruises and scrapes would be questioned, the privacy is going to be exceptional.

But when I opened my door to the adjoining bathroom, and I see that James did too. From his room. His room. That also adjoins to the bathroom. Just as quickly the thoughts of having my own bathroom turn into thoughts of how I am going to have to share, with a boy. And not just _any_ boy, but James bloody Potter.

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I hope the my description of the common room and bedroom were good, I find that I struggle with that the most. Any who, please review and give me any time of feedback! Thanks lovelies.

EPotter95


	5. Chapter 4

I wrote this pretty much in one sitting and I'm already writing the next chapter, so hopefully that one will be up fast. I hope you all like this, it does have some content that could creep some people out, but oh well. You can skip it when the time comes!  
I only own the story line, everything else to the fabulous J.K Rowling!

Enjoy my lovely readers!

**Chapter 4**

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"We have to _share_ a bathroom?" I asked my voice raising.

"I didn't know," James said with a shrug, looking afraid.

My anger grew at the thought of having to share a bathroom with James, and looking at him on the other side of the bathroom was making me even angrier.

I closed my door without answering him. If he wanted to try and be friends I can't go yelling at him about sharing a bathroom with him. It wasn't his fault, and he's right too, he didn't know. I didn't even know, so how was he?

With a deep breath I opened the door again, and saw that James had closed his door too. Not thinking I went through the bathroom to the door that led to his room and opened it.

His room surprised me, to say the least. The walls were a dark blue, the opposite of my pale blue. The desk and dresser a dark colour of wood, which matched the simple bed frame, which had black covers and pillows.

I saw James sitting on his bed, looking at me with a confused expression.

"Lily? What are you doing?" He asked.

"I wanted to apologize; I didn't want you to think I was angry at you." I answered, staying where I was at the door. No way was I going in to where he was.

"Thanks Lil," he said about to get up off the bed.

I left quickly before he could get up. I closed his door and half ran to my room closing it too, before collapsing on my floor shaking and gasping in breaths. Flashbacks kept going through my mind.

Flashback 1:

"_Lily, darling, come in here and help daddy with something, please," I heard his voice come from upstairs, it didn't have the hardness it had since I first got home from Hogwarts._

"_Coming daddy!" I ran up the stairs, not wanting to upset him._

"_I'm in my room doll," I went to his room, and opened it._

"_There's my gorgeous girl!" He came stumbling to me, holding a glass with a strong and yucky smell, and the smell came off his breath. He put the drink down on the ground before grabbing me around the waist and flung me onto his bed._

"_Now, Lily dear, don't say a word about this. This here, this is special." He undid his belt and came climbing onto the bed._

Flashback 2:

"_Oh Lily dearest, where are you?" I heard him calling from upstairs, using that voice that I dread and came to fear more than the harsh voice that came with physical pain._

"_I'm in the kitchen daddy," I felt my body tremble._

"_There's my buttercup," he came up to me and round his arms around me kissing my neck._

Flashback 3:

_I felt a tug on my hair before the slap that woke me._

"_What the fuck do you think you're doing?!" Inside I groaned; this is not going to be a good day._

"_I'm sorry daddy, what time is it?" Knowing it wasn't that early, the sun wasn't even up yet._

"_3:00 in the morning! You know the rules, you gotta keep me satisfied, woman!" I saw his eyes flash with hunger before he ripped the sheets away from me and tore my night shirt off me._

"Lily? Lily!" I heard someone calling me name.

"Oh damn it, Lil! Get up, oh Merlin, Lil!" I felt hands touching my face and arms, pushing hair out of my face.

I opened my eyes and saw James bending over me with a worried expression until he saw me looking at him, relief took over his features.

"Lily? Are you okay? What happened? I heard you drop and scream, then I came in and found you shaking," James looked so concerned it pained me to see him this way and not give him the answers he wanted. "What happened?" He repeated the question.

"I don't really remember." The lie rolling of my tongue simply.

"Are you sure?" James asked, bringing his hand up to tuck a piece of hair behind my ear before getting me to sit up.

"Yeah, I just remember coming in and the rest is blank. I'm sorry," I said looking up at him.

"That's not something to be sorry for Lil, I'm just glad that you're okay. You are okay, right?" The concern in his voice came through again.

"I'm okay James," I tried getting up but my legs didn't want to hold me up and I would have fallen if James didn't catch me.

He brought me to my bed and laid me down, I started to hyperventilate remembering things my father has done to me in the same position James and I were in.

"Get some sleep, it'll help." James put his hand to me cheek before leaving through the door that led to our shared bathroom.

My breathing started to even out when I realized he wasn't coming back to hurt me in any way, and soon after sleep found its way easily.

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So this one was interesting to write, especially that flashbacks. Which I had the creeps just writing it, because it's just nasty and no one should go through that. But it seemed to fit!  
Please give me a review, it'll make my week :)

EPotter95


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